By: Shorouk Shirin ID:180531
A divorce is a disastrous occasion for any family, especially when children are involved. Studies have demonstrated that around 25% of children whose guardians separate experience mental, social, academical problems, they also develop the fear of rejection from their parents, and mood disorders in their lives ( Online Essays, 2019 ); having to go through the memories of divorce is a tragic moment for any child. Parents usually do not comprehend either conscious about the scar they leave in their children’s hearts and the hole they create in their lives as they witness all the shouting, crying and fighting that end up with serious problems for their future, and that is not what children wish for. However, if they get divorced, mothers have the priority to take the custody of the child over the father, were the law also supports this, the mother will be more able to support her mind rather than the father.
Mothers should get custody of her child rather than the father because mothers are more capable to help her children with their needs such as their mentality rather than the father. Where according to ASHBY LAW (n.d) that the court of law is more on the women’s side to have her child’s custody rather than being on the father’s side. Mother can help her child to overcome the divorce problem by empowering them, they empower them by giving them self-confidence. Mother’s also eliminating the absences of the father for long periods of time by acting as both, mother and father, while a father cannot do the same thing ( Williams-Owens, 2017 ). This helps the child to overcome the moments of mental unstable-ness due to the non-existence of the father
On the other hand, the custody for the father could be challenging to win, despite the fact that the court doesn’t discriminate between both guardians. Analysis of Prior research has proposed that after separation, children do well in the custody of the equivalent sexual parent ( CraigHayward, 1996 ). When it comes to fathers, children have the opportunity to get the chance to genuinely open up to their fathers about various subjects especially boys without the fear of being judged, shy or even overwhelmed by how some of the topics may get uncomfortable, but also not giving a mini anxiety attack to the mother when her son has “the talk” with her and vice-versa, thus saving both, the child and mother, from having mental disruptions when they come across moments as such ( CraigHayward, 1996 ).
According to UNICEF ( 2011 ) children can speak well with both parents but once divorce happens, they start to be mentally unstable to speak, and that only mothers have the ability to help them speak up and break the barrier of them being shy about something, it is not at all about the mother having anxiety while having “the talk” with her child. It was also stated that mothers are better when communicating with their children more than the father, and she could understand her child the moment they speak. They can express themselves much better while with mothers than fathers.
To conclude, mothers should have custody of the child once divorce take place, and that is more of a beneficial thing for the children. As children in this stage of life, will need someone who understands them even without expressing themselves and they need the one who could make them feel mentally stable. And finally as stated above, even the law is on the favor of the women’s side more than the father, as such care will come more from the mother side more than the father’s side at this stage.
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